It’s proven ! The meanest of your friends is the one who loves you the most

Have you ever asked your friend for advice and been horrified when he told you to pull yourself together? Have you ever doubted your friendship with someone after he told you it was the bazaar in your life? According to a study done by the University of Plymouth and relayed by New York Post , they are wicked because they care about you.

It seems that people who tend to make others feel  negative  are convinced that the impact of these emotions will be beneficial to them in the long run. This is revealed by the University of Plymouth, UK, which conducted a  study  based on a survey of 140 adults in which participants were subjected to various hypothetical situations. It was found that those who were mean to their partners were really the most inclined to empathize and want their partner to succeed.

Dr. Belén López-Pérez, lead author of the scientific study, explains how people can become cruel in order to help others: “When they seek to improve the long-term well-being of another person, people can choose to induce a negative emotion in this person in the short term. […] We have identified several everyday examples where this might be the case – for example, inducing the fear of failure in a loved one who procrastinates instead of studying for an exam. “

Bad for love!

The researchers in the study hypothesized that having participants feel empathy toward their partner would make them more inclined to induce negative emotion if they thought it would help them to achieve a goal. In addition, the study noted that for this to be true, the participant would have no advantage in being cruel.

To test their theories, the 140 adults participated in a series of tasks within a gaming system alongside an anonymous partner. Players who have sympathized with their partners have sought to arouse emotions such as fear and anger to motivate them. While the players who remained detached did not provoke emotions.

In one case, it was found that a participant made his partner feel guilty for not having studied for a test. Rather than tell him that would be fine; the participant told him that his procrastination was his fault and that if he wanted to  succeed , he should study more.

In their own way, participants tried to encourage their partners to do better. By inculcating guilt, they were meant to inspire them to do what is right. In the end, their goal was not to hurt their loved ones, but to show them a new perspective that would help them in their efforts.

Dr. Belén López-Pérez wrote: “What was surprising was that being cruel was not random but specific to an emotion. According to previous research, our results showed that people had very specific expectations about the effects of certain emotions to achieve different goals. These results shed light on social dynamics and help us to understand, for example, why we can sometimes try to make our loved ones feel bad if we perceive this emotion as useful for achieving a certain goal. “

The most honest friends are the best

As they say, the truth hurts. This can lead to seeing us from a different angle and it is not always fun to deal with our fears or what we need to change. But having such friendships helps us to grow and become the best version of ourselves.

Your best friends believe in you, they know what you are capable of and they know that your friendship can support their honesty even if their words can sometimes be hurtful.


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